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 Post subject: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:06 pm 
Luna
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For those who aren't really aware, arranged marriage is done by the parents of the household. It is common in Asian countries, even though the younger generations are not into it and choose to find one themselves.

So, my parents want me to meet a girl from Taiwan who is practicing medicine. My parents know her family and want me to try a relationship with her, but aren't going to push me into marriage.

So, my question is, has anyone ever been involved in aranged marriage? If yes, then how did it turn out?

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:31 pm 
Usagi's Rose
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In my view it's an outdated practice that is more fitting for aristocracies than anyone else but if your involved in one and only if like the person then I guess it's fine but generally I disapprove of the whole idea of a forced marriage, marriage should be for love well anyways everyone has their views on the subject so don't just go by mine

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 7:54 pm 
Solaris Luna
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I'm against it you shouldn't be forced to marry someone you don't love its not right

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:02 pm 
Planeta
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Not a fan of arranged marriages . More often then not they are just setup to benefit the family which isn't right .
You should be marrying someone you truly love , not someone who's thrown in front of you .

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:04 pm 
Luna
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I am not against it.i think it worths trying.maybe you two will get along well in time,who knows?

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:13 pm 
Columnae Creationis
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AmiMizunosHusband wrote:
I'm against it you shouldn't be forced to marry someone you don't love its not right

Agreed, but:

lunar5313 wrote:
My parents know her family and want me to try a relationship with her, but aren't going to push me into marriage.

:wink:

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:58 pm 
Planeta
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Setting someone up with somebody they know is totally different from "arranged marriage."

If that's the case then at least give it a try .

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 9:13 pm 
Solaris Luna
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Black_Chaos wrote:
Setting someone up with somebody they know is totally different from "arranged marriage."

If that's the case then at least give it a try .


I agree Chaos

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sat Feb 25, 2017 10:36 pm 
Lumen Cinereum
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As far I'm concerned, I'm indifferent on the practice for a simple reason: when one goes down to it, marriage started out as a mean to make easier continue the family and make sure you knew who was the father, with economic arrangements and possible political alliances to go with it, and marriage being linked exclusively to love is a relatively recent concept. Things are a bit more complicated, especially now, but that's why, historically, cheating has often being tolerated as long as it was discreet (or at least without evidence. When evidence was found... Let's just say that Italy wasn't the only place where you could kill a cheating spouse caught in the act and get only a slap on the wrist) and didn't interfere with knowing who was the father.

So, if you meet this lady and find that you actually can live together as a wedded couple, go for it. Had it been something like the famous story of Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo I'd say to run to a lawyer, but it's not that.

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 2:51 am 
Aurorae Lunares
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My biggest concern is that in some more traditional societies, arranged marriages are used to pressure women into abusive relationships to appease their families. Even in more egalitarian societies, I feel like there would still be a lot of pressure to make your family happy. But if you're consenting adults and it makes you both happy, that's up to you to make that choice.


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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:37 am 
Solaris Luna
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It is definitely something that elite families do to maintain social status, class, and power.

It is not as outdated as most would think, either. I was born in Latin America, and it is extremely common there.

I did not fit in the country I was born because, well, I am gay. :googly: I came to America and married a handsome working-class American hero. He totally and completely stole my heart and will always be deserving of my true love.


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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 5:24 pm 
Aurorae Lunares
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Prince Rose wrote:
In my view it's an outdated practice that is more fitting for aristocracies than anyone else but if your involved in one and only if like the person then I guess it's fine but generally I disapprove of the whole idea of a forced marriage, marriage should be for love well anyways everyone has their views on the subject so don't just go by mine



Exactly what you said.

Forces marriages are never a good idea, for all anyone knows, they can put you with a person that you would not like.

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:06 pm 
Columnae Creationis
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Clow wrote:
It is definitely something that elite families do to maintain social status, class, and power.

And money &/or any other material gains - some of those parents simply sell their daughters, whether the "transaction" is an outright or de facto one, & while that's a more common, or even "normal," practice in some developing countries, it also happens in developed countries to this day.

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 6:56 pm 
Aurorae Lunares
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I really do not like the idea of an arranged marriage, espiecially if the girl is underage. And I agree with Rose, it is outdated.

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 7:58 pm 
Luna
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Just a bit of information, but the details that I got was she is from my home country, 28 and is practicing medicine in Taiwan. Reason that my parents want me to try is because most of my familyhas had a history of doctors and engineers, even bank managers. I am the next generation to venture into the science/finance/IT field so my parents want me to invest in something beneficial in the long term, but for me, I am against it. Luckily my parents aren't forcling me into the relationship..

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 8:00 pm 
Luna Nova
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In general, the idea of arranged marriage makes me feel uneasy. The choice of a partner is a personal thing and the two people that are about to get married are the only ones who have the right to make this choice.

Yet in this case, it does not sound like arranged marriage, but rather like parental advice/suggestion to give one specific perwon a chance/try. So it does not look that bad to me. Actually it may be well worth it. Even if it doesn't end with marriage or a relationship you still could make a new friend. Yet I would feel pretty uncomfortable to have my parents looking for a girl to pair me with...


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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 9:57 pm 
Lumen Cinereum
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Feeling the need to point out one thing: an arranged marriage isn't always FORCED. It's simply a marriage where outsider parties make a choice of the spouse, and the perspective spouse usually have the choice of refusal. Also, the matchmaker, no matter if it's family, a friend or a professional (such, for example, online dating sites), usually makes an effort to find a compatible match for obvious reasons. That's the whole reason it existed for so long all around the world and still exists in many places.

It's when it's forced, especially when there are reasons for incompatibility, that the problems come out.

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:00 pm 
Luna
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lord Martiya wrote:
Feeling the need to point out one thing: an arranged marriage isn't always FORCED. It's simply a marriage where outsider parties make a choice of the spouse, and the perspective spouse usually have the choice of refusal. Also, the matchmaker, no matter if it's family, a friend or a professional (such, for example, online dating sites), usually makes an effort to find a compatible match for obvious reasons. That's the whole reason it existed for so long all around the world and still exists in many places.

It's when it's forced, especially when there are reasons for incompatibility, that the problems come out.


Well, my parents do want me to marry a doctor.....

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2017 10:06 pm 
Columnae Creationis
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lunar5313 wrote:
Just a bit of information, but the details that I got was she is from my home country, 28 and is practicing medicine in Taiwan. Reason that my parents want me to try is because most of my familyhas had a history of doctors and engineers, even bank managers. I am the next generation to venture into the science/finance/IT field so my parents want me to invest in something beneficial in the long term, but for me, I am against it. Luckily my parents aren't forcling me into the relationship..

Choosing a spouse/marriage for the good of one's career (whether it's a partial or sole consideration) is pretty common, whether it's arranged/encouraged by the family or a purely personal choice. :)

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:00 pm 
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I'm in an arranged Marriage but not by my parents by a big stone with my name on it and his name 2 at first it piss me off but I grew up to love the guy .

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:04 am 
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Arranged marriages are still big in India. And they take pride of the fact that the country has a very low divorce rate of 1 percent of a population of 1 billion. :|

How do they do it?

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 2:29 pm 
Luna
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rgveda99 wrote:
Arranged marriages are still big in India. And they take pride of the fact that the country has a very low divorce rate of 1 percent of a population of 1 billion. :|

How do they do it?


I guess it has to deal with the families knowing each other, maybe through a mutual contact. If the families know each other the chances are a bit better versus if the families didn't meet in the first place...

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 6:08 pm 
Columnae Creationis
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rgveda99 wrote:
Arranged marriages are still big in India. And they take pride of the fact that the country has a very low divorce rate of 1 percent of a population of 1 billion. :|

How do they do it?

For those wives, they simply can't make a living or keep their present living standards after divorce, under their current socioeconomic system, not to mention their being discriminated/stigmatized after it?

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 7:34 pm 
Solaris Luna
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So will you meet the girl? How have you been feeling these days?


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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Mon Mar 06, 2017 8:06 pm 
Luna
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Clow wrote:
So will you meet the girl? How have you been feeling these days?


Not until November. I have been busy since I changing my work location and getting my real estate license. To be honest I can't really think about the relationship scenario

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 12:04 am 
Solaris Luna
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Keep us posted. Wish you best of luck, regardless of what you decide.


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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:19 pm 
Columnae Creationis
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Clow wrote:
Keep us posted. Wish you best of luck, regardless of what you decide.

Same here. :) BTW, I like that clip in your current sig, lunar5313. :cool:

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 Post subject: Re: What do you think of Arranged Marriage?
PostPosted: Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:36 am 
Stella
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Over all I feel that it is an archaic practice not suited for the modern day. Ideally marriage should be about love and companionship and not about bringing honor to your family a la Mulan. However if it is consensual and the two people get to know each other then I don't see what the problem is but I know some arranged marriage couples who grow to hate each other because they are not compatible especially if it is forced which of course I am against.

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